Lost

"Sometimes getting lost is the only way to really find yourself."


When I first read this quote, I just stared at it for a few minutes and really let it sink in. As I thought about it, memories from my life flashed before me and transformed these words into the truest statement I have read. Being lost (I mean emotionally and mentally) isn’t always a bad thing. We have all felt lost because we were hurt, forgot about, angry, or whatever the case may be. But I’m beginning to learn that how you act when these situations arise is an indicator of your true character, and how you mishandle these situations can only help you grow.

When a romantic relationship went sour, I was “lost” in a lot of the same emotions everyone feels after a break up. But instead of stewing in my loneliness, I took a step back and did some self reflection. I realized I didn’t like who I was, so no matter what my boyfriend did, it wasn’t going to make me happy. How could I expect someone to love me when I didn’t even love myself? So I changed. It wasn't an over night thing. There were some habits I had to kick, I needed to start thinking more positive, I had to just start enjoying my life more and get used to being alone. But I’m happy to say I’ve never loved myself more than I do now. And I never would have been able to see that if I hadn’t first been lost.

Another example:
When I found out my papaw had cancer, I was lost in pure anger. I was angry at God for allowing him to get sick, angry at people who had never taken care of their bodies and were still alive- I was just an angry person. I stayed mad for a few weeks before I got myself in check and realized that it was getting me no where and making my life miserable. So I chose to turn my negative thinking into positive action and started praying. My reasoning was, of course it couldn't hurt, and I needed some kind of outlet for my thoughts and emotions so why not turn to God? I prayed with more compassion than I ever had before, and started thinking positive about the situation. Two weeks ago, we got a report that one spot of cancer is gone and the other is shrinking. Not bad for an incurable, inoperable form of cancer. It's amazing what a little positive attitude can do.

Currently I'm realizing how refreshing it can be to be lost in contentment. I'm starting to understand what little things I can do daily to keep myself happy. Such as: not sweating the small stuff, enjoying simple things in life, trying to smile as much as I can, and lots more things that seem small but have a huge impact on my day to day life. Its when you are truly happy with yourself and your life, that you get a glimpse of the best version of yourself you can be, and to me, that makes all the struggling worth it.

So what I'm realizing is that its the times when you feel completely lost, have no direction, and it seems like no one cares to help, that you discover how strong you really are. You'll never know what you're truly made of until you're put to the test and I've found that I like myself more after every struggle that I face. So I'll say it again: Sometimes getting lost is the only way to really find yourself.